Fly like a G-6

Beaver Falls- Another year, another bulging freshman class to fill campus with fresh faces and fresh giant lanyards. In response to this influx of new students on Geneva’s tightly packed campus, Resident Life has decided to revamp its momentously successful program instituted 2 years ago when faced with a similar housing dilemma. To accommodate such a large incoming class, Geneva has decided to modify the G-3 program where freshman students would share a 200 square foot dorm room with two other roommates so that each room could accommodate up to 6 incoming students.  The new program, G-6 is set to go into full effect in the Fall of 2013 and should only effect current freshman and sophomores.  With the denial of off campus housing for well established, accomplished upperclassman who will be entering the workforce in less than a year, the space has become even tighter. Geneva’s small campus limits the options for Resident Life’s current dilemma and it appears that Geneva is forced to cram as many students as possible into dorms. “There are simply no other options,” sighed Neil Best, Director of Resident Life, seemingly resigned to the inevitable fate "We were originally going to go with G5, letting a small number of upperclassman off [campus], but we figured G6 would attract the hip, pop culture vibe of our campus. What young, 18 year old college freshman wouldn't want to be feeling so fly like a G6?".

        While the program is not set to be instituted for a year, details are already being worked out. To ensure that all furniture will fit inside each room, Geneva is not only preparing triple bunked beds, but is also constructing a system of triple bunked desks and chairs in the spirit of "mega-desk" to maximize the vertical component of each airy room.

         Resident Life knows that the new accommodations could lead to some minimal special discomfort, especially for those freshmen whom have never had to live in a cramped room with multiple strangers for an extended period of time. “We are hoping that the tight spaces and stringent rooming options will encourage some freshman to leave on fall break and not return.” said Best, “That will free up some space for the real Geneva faithful, the ‘Frozen Chosen,’ and keep our class numbers to a reasonable figure.”

         Fortunately for upperclassmen, Resident Life is looking into a new program that will involve leasing portions of the rugby field for students to build their own shanty, lean-to, or similar makeshift structure. This new project would still maintain all of the leadership staff provided in other buildings only under new titles (e.g. Resident Director becomes Resident Mayor of Shanty Town or RMST, etc.) Desperate times call for desperate measures, but as the saying goes: “sometime the best solutions are the most complex and onerously contrived solutions”….or something like that.