Keith Martel Sets New Record for Awkward Silence at 1:54 Seconds

In perhaps one of the most commendable achievements of the 2011-2012 school year thus far, Keith Martel, celebrated “Welcomer” to Geneva College’s weekly chapels, topped an all-school record time for awkward silence.  After his usual welcomes and cell-phone condemnations, Martel went about his jolly business.  However, in a feat of unusual awkwardity, Martel began to trail off his sentences and stare into the Northeast corner of the gym.  In response to the pause, Sophomore student John Shipley stated, “The whole place got pretty quiet.  Was he praying?”  Martel held the silence for a record-setting 1 minute and 54 seconds.  This shattered the previous record of 1 minute and 12 seconds, held by chapel singer David Smith, when he forgot the words to Psalm 51.  A post-chapel interview ended in abrupt fashion when the insider’s text tone prompted Martel’s response, “Please silence your cell phones.”