Beaver Falls - McCartney Library, Geneva’s historic library built in 1930, holds many secrets. From the 3rd floor annals to the rusted sliding racks of the basement Media Center, the library is laced with history of years gone by. However, the Pendragon, Geneva’s writing center, is known to the majority of the student body as a place where, in the words of Dr. Jonathan Watt, “no man shall trod and live to tell his tale”. However, this past week, one poor, unfortunate soul made a mistake that cost him dearly.
According to our insiders, Wednesday morning, March 14th, a transfer Freshman, merely looking for help with his thesis statement and comma placement on a midterm paper, wandered through the basement labyrinth and found himself on the doorstep of the sleeping monster. The student was immediately surrounded by a brood of Pendragonites, and torn limb from limb by artistic, expressionistic, holistic and linguistic perfection. Although Geneva Security is still trying to clear the Smaug of confusion surrounding the case, Cupboard insiders were able to interview a few of the players. One Pendragon worker to remain unnamed stated, “I have seen many a weary night e’er since I had experienced the sweet victory of red ink on paper. I suppose that’s the thrill of minimum wage.” Dennis Damazo, head of Geneva Security, described his initial sight of the crime scene, “When I first got there I really didn’t understand the severity of the attack. Besides the slew of mutilated parchment, the workers were literally in a state of joyful hysteria. I hope for my sake and the rest of the student body that this will be my last trip to that murky basement lair.”
According to Neil Best, Director of Resident Life, no legal action will be taken against the Pendragonites. “You simply have to know the rules of engagement on a small campus like this. In principle, I tend to place the blame on the student’s RA. It’s just unacceptable for him not to relay this vital information to his floor mates.” This unfortunate mishap will hopefully serve as a warning to the rest of campus for the future. In the words of senior engineering student Oliver Onufer: “It’s plain and simple, friends don’t let friends go to the Pendragon.”
According to our insiders, Wednesday morning, March 14th, a transfer Freshman, merely looking for help with his thesis statement and comma placement on a midterm paper, wandered through the basement labyrinth and found himself on the doorstep of the sleeping monster. The student was immediately surrounded by a brood of Pendragonites, and torn limb from limb by artistic, expressionistic, holistic and linguistic perfection. Although Geneva Security is still trying to clear the Smaug of confusion surrounding the case, Cupboard insiders were able to interview a few of the players. One Pendragon worker to remain unnamed stated, “I have seen many a weary night e’er since I had experienced the sweet victory of red ink on paper. I suppose that’s the thrill of minimum wage.” Dennis Damazo, head of Geneva Security, described his initial sight of the crime scene, “When I first got there I really didn’t understand the severity of the attack. Besides the slew of mutilated parchment, the workers were literally in a state of joyful hysteria. I hope for my sake and the rest of the student body that this will be my last trip to that murky basement lair.”
According to Neil Best, Director of Resident Life, no legal action will be taken against the Pendragonites. “You simply have to know the rules of engagement on a small campus like this. In principle, I tend to place the blame on the student’s RA. It’s just unacceptable for him not to relay this vital information to his floor mates.” This unfortunate mishap will hopefully serve as a warning to the rest of campus for the future. In the words of senior engineering student Oliver Onufer: “It’s plain and simple, friends don’t let friends go to the Pendragon.”
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